Saturday, July 10, 2010

10: More silly songs

So it seems I've been a little too eager about getting better. I am now able to put some weight on my leg and because of this have been rather active, walking around the house and sitting up a lot. This resulted in my leg and foot swelling up massively last night. So now, I'm confined to the bed again...or to at least prop my leg up when I sit.

 My left leg looks like an overstuffed sausage!

I can't wait for tomorrow. We're heading back to Victorville, just for a few days, but at least I get to see Micah! It's been a while and I miss him a ton (even though I'm usually cranky whenever he's around...)

Anywho, another silly song I made for a friend, Deb. You can watch it here or check it out on Facebook.



The URL as promised: http://OnCupcakeMoon.blogspot.com

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I spent this morning bawling my eyes out. A friend linked me to a website containing Jamie Livingston's Photo of the Day project. If you've never heard of it, Jamie took a picture every day of his life from when he was 18 in 1979 to his death in 1997 of cancer at age 41. It is heart-wrenchingly beautiful and funny and sad, a collection of memories.

When people take pictures, often its because something "worthwhile" is happening....a wedding, birthdays, a special occasion in lifetime of "ordinary." Jamie's pictures are of those ordinary everyday moments that we often forget are so absolutely beautiful in their simplicity.

I think that is often the reason I falter in my own auto-bio comics. Every few months I'll resolve to do it daily, I stick to it for a few days and come up with comics that are funny or interesting or visually appealing. Then I run out of steam because "nothing important happened today. What do I comic about?" I'd like to try and re-evaluate how I view my life and the things going on around me.

See Jamie Livingston's photo project here: http://photooftheday.hughcrawford.com/

When I got near the end of the project, where Jamie is visibly weakening and succumbing to cancer, I started getting freaked out. We all know we're going to die, that's inevitable. But we, or at least I, often have this mentality that...I'm immortal until the day I die. I start taking for granted that I'll be awake tomorrow, that I'll have time tomorrow to do all the things I want to so I can just waste today. When I read about people dying young, I think "that could happen to me...but it probably wont."

Like getting hit by a car. Its one of those things I just never thought would happen to me. The cops and Dr.'s kept saying how lucky I was to be alive, that there is an 80% chance of death when hit by a car going faster than 30mph (the car was going 40-45 ish). If I hadn't been able to take a step back at the last minute, I'd be badly injured if not worse.

I'm just....freaked out. The reassurances I tell myself when I read about bad things happening to people...just don't work anymore. "That would probably never happen to me." Yeah...it happened to me. How do I know I won't get hit by lightning? That the house won't be swallowed up in an earthquake? That I won't get stabbed to death in a mugging? That I won't contract a rare deadly disease? It sounds absolutely ludicrous but it *is* possible (if not probable.) I dunno. I'm not sure how to deal with this.

4 comments:

  1. My dear Sheika *squishes* the advice of someone that is in contact with a lot of death, and a lot of illness is quite simply, don't reassure yourself with "it won't happen to me" but simply life your life as if every day was a precious treasure, cause you don't know what tomorrow could bring!
    Appreciate life for what it is, make sure you do what you want with your life, and don't think about what can go wrong unless is to remind you of what you can do to make your life worth living!

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  2. Your post reminds me a lot of one of my favorite Minus The Bear lyrics:

    I drive too fast at night
    'cause accidents happen to other men
    and not me


    I know you're having a rough time not drawing but your blog posts have been really thoughtful and thought-provoking. Have a great weekend.

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  3. @ Pili -- That really helps. Its stuff like that that sounds trite when you read it on greeting cards or hear it in movies...until it actually applies to you.

    @ Matt -- What song is that? I wanna hear it now! :D Thanks, I think having all these thoughts and feelings pent up inside me are taking their toll and coming out any which way they can.

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  4. "Michio's Death Drive" off Minus The Bear's Menos El Oso album.

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