1: Thought Dump

Hey everyone. I'm sorry if I'm whiny but its my blog and I can type what I want to! lol

To recap: I was crossing the street Saturday evening when I got hit by a car. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't move so I was rushed to the ER. After 5+ hours in the ER, a ton of x rays and scans, quite a few needles being poked inside me...I was sent home with painkillers.

My left leg is extremely bruised and swollen, my right thigh/knee has quite a few gashes and bruises, my ankles are bruised, and my right arm/elbow is bruised. I can barely walk and am pretty much in constant pain right now.

The worst of it all though is that I can't hold a pen/pencil in my right hand. I can use my hand and fingers somewhat but I can't grip.

One of my biggest fears has always been to lose the use of my hands and my eyes, and be unable to ever make art again. Drawing/painting is my way of dealing with problems, relieving stress, expressing my troubles and pains. Right now, I want more than anything to draw and its the one thing I can't do. It hurts to grip a pencil and I can barely move my arm across a page.

This seriously sucks. I can deal with the pain of everything else, I can use a bedpan if I absolutely have to, I can hop around on my crutches and grin and bear the pain...but being unable to draw....this absolutely kills me.

OmgC...Ow!

Hi, my name is Mary and I'm a friend of Sheika's updating on behalf of Ms. OMGcow.  Sheika was hit by a car while crossing the road this weekend.  Not to fret dedicated readers, she's ok, but her arm is swollen and in pain.  For now, OMGcow is on hiatus until she can draw again.

If anyone wants to do guest comics while Sheika heals she will love you forever! 

Please check out the facebook page for updates and to send her your get wells :)  

Gallery sketches

I still don't have my scanner. Its a huge bummer, actually.

I've volunteered to sit for the downtown Long Beach location of PhantomGalleries. It's been pretty slow so I spend a lot of time looking out the windows and sketching. I've also been experimenting with some old Faber Castell markers I have. I'm very unhappy with them which makes me want a portable watercolor set even more.

The view facing the desk

The bus stop across the street from mine

Text reads: Riding on the bus. It's a 45 min ride home.

Dinners at El Picosito again. Got an asada taco and

carnitas taco for $2

Food Sketches 02

I didn't bring my scanner with me so I'm using a webcam. I can't decide between getting a portable watercolor set, watercolor pens, or watercolor pencils and a brush pen with a water reservoir. I want something unobtrusive I can pull out while at a restaurant or during a meal, but will give me a range of colors and hues. Watercolor pens seem the most convenient option but I don't want to be limited by only two or three colors. The pigments doesn't blend well so I can't get away with blending primaries to make more colors.

Food Sketches 01

I want to start a new project, a Food Diary. I've got a nice new sketchbook for it and I'm looking into getting either a portable watercolor set or a watercolor pen (the ones with the water reservoir inside.)

In the meantime, I've been practicing with just simple pen and ink sketches.

Self portrait

This is an older piece, some of you will probably remember it from when I had it posted on the comic blog. I had planned on doing a series of self-portraits to practice drawing from life. Unfortunately, I got busy and depressed...a deadly combination. I'm posting it again as a renewed start to the exercise.

8x11

Pencil on paper

Here is a shot of my pose just for reference. Its difficult to get an accurate portrait when my pose changes slightly every time I move my head to look down at the paper. I'm happy just to get a likeness eve though the proportions are a bit off. Apparently, my head isn't as round as I think it is. Haha!

Semester in review

Sping semester ended last month, along with my first painting class. It was a rough, grueling yet exhilarating 18 weeks When the class began, I had absolutely no experience with oil paint and the last time I had handled a brush was in 3rd grade, painting macaroni noodles with kids' acrylic. I was terrified and massively jealous of the talents of my fellow students, many of whom were taking the Beginning Painting class simply to fulfill their course requirements.

18x24

Oil on canvas

The rewards of my efforts were very little during those first months. We made up color charts and gradients, still lives that did nothing but show me how poor my perspective and proportions were.

18x24

Oil on canvas

I stuck with it and with the Abstract assignment, something happened. I stopped caring so much about pleasing my professor, about getting the techniques just right. I stopped expecting a rigid recipe for flesh tones and started experimenting. Most importantly, I stopped looking at the work of my classmates and comparing and copying them. I allowed myself to experiment, I chose not to come to class until Critique day to avoid disparaging comments from others. I abandoned all expectations and rules, allowing myself to simply experiment with how the paint felt and looked and smelled. How it sat on the canvas and dripped or pooled, what marks I could make with sandpaper or a toothbrush or a leaf.

36x42

Oil, latex paint, turpentine on canvas

Once I had tackled the technical aspect of painting, I felt my conceptual ideas itching to come free. Something my professor said stuck with me. "Art is what happens after everyone leaves the studio." (I may be wrong, I have a habit of forgetting details.)  Prior to this, I had stayed within "safe" "acceptable" subjects. My parents had always held that nudes were not art and the measure of an artists' success is seeing one's work hung in a coffee shop with a large price tag.

8x10

Oil on canvas

I took the plunge. I locked myself away in the garage and began painting. Many of my classmates wouldn't look at my work, some said I was doing it for the attention. I didn't care. The feeling of making work I wanted to make was exhilarating. So this is what art is all about.

18x24

Oil on canvas

Two 15x30

Oil on canvas

I have no idea where my art is going from here. All I know is that I want to keep working, keep trying, keep improving. Today, I cleaned out my garage and found the painting I did on that first day of class. It is absolutely horrendous and I still remember that sinking feeling of fear and dread. I cannot paint, I thought. I can never learn to paint. Everyone else in class has taken art classes before. I can never paint like them.

8x10

Oil on panel

Its true. I'm no Picasso but that's ok. I think I'm learning to paint like me.