Tuesday, June 29, 2010

1: Thought Dump

Hey everyone. I'm sorry if I'm whiny but its my blog and I can type what I want to! lol

To recap: I was crossing the street Saturday evening when I got hit by a car. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't move so I was rushed to the ER. After 5+ hours in the ER, a ton of x rays and scans, quite a few needles being poked inside me...I was sent home with painkillers.

My left leg is extremely bruised and swollen, my right thigh/knee has quite a few gashes and bruises, my ankles are bruised, and my right arm/elbow is bruised. I can barely walk and am pretty much in constant pain right now.

The worst of it all though is that I can't hold a pen/pencil in my right hand. I can use my hand and fingers somewhat but I can't grip.

One of my biggest fears has always been to lose the use of my hands and my eyes, and be unable to ever make art again. Drawing/painting is my way of dealing with problems, relieving stress, expressing my troubles and pains. Right now, I want more than anything to draw and its the one thing I can't do. It hurts to grip a pencil and I can barely move my arm across a page.

This seriously sucks. I can deal with the pain of everything else, I can use a bedpan if I absolutely have to, I can hop around on my crutches and grin and bear the pain...but being unable to draw....this absolutely kills me.

3 comments:

  1. Don't worry about being whiny! my post's involve me whining on a regular basis! You've been in a major accident, and your body's probably in shock still - not being able to draw sucks :( but all you can unfortunately do is be patient (it won't be forever) and imagine how happy you'll be when you start again! It's not your fault either, we're just brought up in a generation where we're not supposed to be a bother - you don't need to apologize!!!

    I hope that your pain goes down soon, and you'll be back better than ever! but for now! TAKE IT EASY!

    lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  2. Sweetie, first of all, it's not your fault! I do hope the car driver feels half as responsible as you at least, cause we drivers are the ones with the machine that can kill people, so we should always be extra careful!

    Maybe you can try and work on alternative ways of producing art, like on the computer? I dunno, maybe you can start trying to learn something new and express yourself in a new way?

    And you can be a whiny as you want, you've been hit by a car, you have reason to be whiny!

    *big huggles*

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