30: Worst Week Ever

I've had the most awful week. I've been agonizing over the decision of dropping the entire semester or keeping at it.

The first day of school was dandy until I started getting tired near the middle of the day, then it was excruciating on the way home. The next day, I woke up swollen and sore all over but decided to go to school anyway. As I hobbled home that night, cars honking at me as I tried crossing the street, I started crying. I was hurting all over, my leg was throbbing worse than it has in weeks and everything was sore. I cried all the way home and for a good 2 hours after that on the phone with Micah.

The next day, I woke up unable to move. Even lifting my head hurt. Everything was so painful and my leg was still swollen. I desperately called up some friends, and they were amazing enough to give me a ride to school and back. Just cutting out the 2 hour commute did was amazing. It hurt like hell to move but it was much mroe bearable.

The last school day of the week, I woke up still hurting and swollen but got ready for school anyway. As I stepped out the door and hobbled towards our gate, all the soreness and pain made themselves evident. I started getting panic attack just thinking about the rest of the day. I started crying uncontrollably again, went back inside and just collapsed in bed, crying until my parents came home.

Then came the mental anguish of trying to decide what to do. I love all my classes and I want desperately to take them. I lucked out and got them with the best teachers available. Plus, I really don't want to be set back even further than I already am. However, the commute and pain prevent me from doing my best. When I get to class, my arms are so sore I can barely mold my clay. My right arm, still unhealed and even more painful from the commute, can barely draw. I get home and sleep right away, not waking up till its time to leave. I've had no chance to do any homework. I worried that even if I were to tough it out and keep going to school, I'd do badly in my classes anyway.