38: Rambling and sketches (NSFW?)

Oh poor neglected blogs. I'm so sorry. *hugs blogs*

Its been hectic over here. I've had my first couple of exams and they have been killer! (I aced my Math exam though! :D ) I have two more next week...Biology and an anatomy exam for Life Drawing. Ugh.

My arm has been steadily getting better. It's still sore but I am able to use it a lot closer to normal. My leg...well...I was starting to be able to put a lot more pressure on it that normal. I must have over-strained it because it started swelling even MORE than normal. I am now on a strict schedule of medicine, icing and/or resting every 3 hours, and basically keeping as much weight off it as possible. Bleagh.

I just want to be rid of them. My classmates and teachers have been so accommodating but I worry I'm wearing out their kindness. I can't wait to be self-sufficient again.

I've got a little painting in the works that I'm super excited about. I've got all the boring color-blocking done and now I'm working on the details. I love when a messy blotchy painting starts coming to life, looking more and more how I imagined in my head. No progress-shots, though! At least, not until I'm done with the thing.

Here's pictures of stuff I've been doing in Life Drawing class. I've found that a lot of times, I get very frustrated while drawing. I can see that the drawing isn't working but I can't tell what's wrong. Taking a picture helps me see it with fresh eyes. Usually, I can point out immediately what's wrong and go back in and fix it.

I think I've been improving. I know one of the problems I have (it shows most on my homework self-portrait) is shading. I usually end up with a dark line drawing where the shading follows the outline, not really doing much for the dimensionality of the form. Today, my teacher made us concentrate on the shapes of the shadows and lights, instead of just the contours of the body. After being very frustrated with it for a long time, I think something clicked today. I'm nowhere near good enough but I am definitely pleased with my progress.

What do you guys think?

(These are in chronological order from last week)

Wednesday

 

 

Monday

 

 

 

 

Wednesday (today)

37: Sneak peeks

I've done a lot more work this long weekend than I have in a while. Mainly, I've got some paintings finished up!

Some of you may remember last month when I held my "Get-me-to-RENT" fundraiser. Kylie of FabulouslyFierce.etsy.com, amazing designer of alternative home decor and hand-made pet accessories, ordered a set of 3 paintings.

Normally, I'd be able to blast through these paintings in less than two weeks. Unfortunately, my arm (which is getting better rather quickly since I started Therapy) has prevented me from putting in the hours necessary. Still...they're complete! These were SO much fun to do and I can't wait for Kylie to see them.

Here are some low-res picture. I'll be taking better pictures and posting in-progress shots when I get home from school.

The original sketch

35: Self portrait hw

For homework was a figure drawing assignment. I couldn't get anyone to model for me...but I do have a full-length mirror in my room.

Normally in Life Drawing class, we are not allowed to have our phones or cameras out. (Understandably  and rightfully so.) Unfortunately, I am not able to take in-progress shots. Since the model this time is myself, I figured I'd take the opportunity.

I started with vine charcoal. Just loose gesture drawings, trying to get the main masses down -- the head, ribcage and pelvis. Fleshed those out then added in the furniture.

First off, I realized the head was way too small. The left arm was too long, so that got shortened. The neck given a little more fleshing and the left leg fixed up. The boobs were also kind of lop-sided....fixed that! Just minor changes. Once I was satisfied with the over-all proportion, I went back in with a harder charcoal stick for the outlines. Defined the right arm a bit more, as well as the right knee.

Left the head pretty much un-touched for now. Started putting in some mid-tone shadows.

Finished! I wasn't sure about drawing in the face but I figured I might as well. I decided to leave the furniture lighter and more unfinished to keep the figure as the focal point.

34: Figure Drawings 2

So I've been seeing my Physical Therapist for a week now. My leg hasn't really changed much but my arm seems to be getting a lot better. They've been massaging it with an ultrasound machine which has reduced the swelling a lot and given me a wider range of motion. Hopefully this means I'll be better even sooner!

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An hour-long sketch from Life Drawing class tonight. This is the first one where I've had time to go back in and put some shading in. I'm not altogether satisfied with it, though. The pose was difficult for me and I feel that even though the proportions are correct and the line drawing is acceptably accurate, there is a lack of....movement...of...uhh...life in it.

33: Figure drawings

Work done for my Life Drawing class. It's nowhere near finished, though I doubt I'll be able to work on it again. I'm one of those people that really need a reference. I can't just draw off the top of my head. Unless I can get someone to model the same pose and have the same body type/size/shape...yeah, I'm most likely not working on it anymore.

Before the drawing above, I'd spent about 3 hours frustrated. Before this class, we had done sketches from a hanging skeleton. I'd memorized how the skeleton looked and was imagining how the model's skeleton looked underneath her skin and flesh. I would first sketch out how I visualized her skeleton looked, then drew the flesh around it.

All of these came out wrong. The torso was alright, but the pelvis/hips/butt region looked....off somehow.

I spent a long time staring at these and doing more and more sketches trying to figure it out. Then I realized where I was going wrong. I had been drawing from a skeleton, though a real one, that was hung in a way that the human body is not.

I was imagining the model's skeleton the way it would have hung. I was drawing the hips as if the head of the leg bone was hanging an inch below the socket....the way the skeleton's leg hung from a wire.

It took another half hour of sketching till I got it right. After that, we got a 45 minute block to draw one pose. the result is the first picture of this post.

What do you guys think?

32: Sketches

I was looking over the archives of this blog and just realized how personal it has become. My intent originally was to have someplace to post my works in progress, sketches, experiments and other pieces that aren't finished enough to post at my other art sites. It has quickly turned into a place for me to vent and unload my thoughts.

I...ah...apologize to anyone who reads this and expected a different beast. Haha!

Some sketches, though! I've found that doing these quick ink sketches when I first wake up help to loosen my arm for the rest of the day.

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So my parents were able to talk to our neighbor across the street, a really nice retired old man, and he has agreed to give me rides to and from school, as well as to and from my physical therapy appointments. We are paying him a small fee but really, its amazing that he's taking so much time out of his day to help someone completely unrelated to him.

I'm going to stick out this week and see how it goes. So far, its been a lot easier on me than last week. Just cutting out the commute really makes a difference!

25: Rectifying the lack of art

An update on me: My leg is increasingly better though I will still need a cane to walk for the next few weeks. My arm hasn't improved much. I have a wider range of motion but it hurts pretty much constantly now. The pain has also spread from just my elbow and forearm down to the back of my hand. I should be seeing a physical therapist soon, though, so here's hoping they can figure out how to fix me.

I haven't been doing too much drawing/painting lately, what with the arm and all. Here's a few sketches from the past week though.

Met up with an online friend for the first time. Also met her boyfriend.

Turns out she's not an axe murderer! LOL

Micah and I are regulars at the Seattle's Best near our house
 

Some ATCs I'm working on for trade

24: On Art Theft Online

With me going on and on about posting my art on Tumblr, the most common question I've heard from friends is "Aren't you scared of putting your art online? What if someone steals it?"

First off, art theft is an awful thing to do. It is the swiping of someone's creative work, emphasis on work. Stealing any piece of art means also stealing the person's time and energy spent making the piece, their emotional and physical stress of thinking up something original, their possible financial gain from the piece, and their joy of having made it. A little on the extreme and emotional side? I think not. When someone's work is stolen, this leaves a sour taste. This person may opt to never again post their work, show their art to anyone, may even be so crippled with fear that they stop making art completely.

However, I believe there is a distinction between art theft online and art theft in the "real world." Art theft from a museum or gallery or your rival's locker in art school is clear-cut. It is a consciously malicious selfish act, it is an obvious crime with clearly stated laws broken. It is an act with selfish personal gains; financially by selling a rare or expensive piece, esteem in passing off a work of genius as your own, or maybe even just spite.

Art theft online is not always so clear. Many have internalized the ideal that the internet is practically a hippie commune. Everything should be free to share and if it isn't, then the person/company is evil. Once something is put online, then it is free for all. The person uploading it should have known better or should have expected it by now. This is propagated by free data that, in the past, would have cost a premium to access. (For ex. newspaper archives, medical information, pornography, music, television etc.) Whenever a company tries to institute a paywall, there is immediate derision followed by failure. (See article on Newsday's subscription attempt.) Others simply do not know that it is etiquette to attribute an image, song or video to the original creator.

Another difference is the outcome of art theft online. There are definitely instances where art is stolen for financial gain (ex. John T. Unger's firebowls). There have been (rumored) instances of chain companies (clothing stores and the like) stealing designs for mass production.  The majority of art theft, however, doesn't result in major losses. Most art thieves are kids in middle school who see a drawing of a fairy or a vampire, post it in their blog to share and forget to link to the creator. They may print the image out and say they drew it. In comparison to "real world" art  thieves, this is a mild case of un-educated misjudgment.

It is at this age that educational systems should be teaching people how to write essays with proper bibliographies, annotations and the results of plagiarism. On the part of the artist, there should be friendly but many reminders that works posted are created and owned by an individual. I think there should also be an encouragement for people to share the work by posting on their blogs, Facebook or Twitter....with a link to the creator. Make it easy for them. Provide the link in text form, have your website URL on the image itself.

Personally, I do not worry much about art theft. Mostly because my work is of an auto-biographical nature and it is difficult to pass off work like that as made by a different person. Also because I like to subscribe to the positive, even naive, side of art theft...if someone thinks your work is good enough to steal, make something even better. I like to think of it as not being naive but rather choosing not to be afraid of making art at all.

21: Photography ramblings

In a previous life, I was a photographer. I did some freelance work for small-time newspapers, some editorial work for local magazines, and worked in a portrait studio/lab. An old friend messaged me today asking for advice since he's recently become interested in photography. I figured I'd copy my rather lengthy response here.

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Ahhh! Those aren't "the basics." Most people spend their entire lives trying to figure that out what makes a good angle and whatnot.

With photography, you have to learn the rules, learn the systematic techniques, read your camera's instruction manual backwards and forwards, follow the numbered directions, the mechanical recipe of a "good" photograph, all the un-creative boring stuff. Once you've got that down, then can you figure out what rules to break and what directions to ignore to make something completely original.

Stepping away from my little highfalutin rambling, here's some specific tid-bits that come to mind right now:

1. The quality of the camera does not = the quality of your picture. The "lil thing" you keep in your pocket will be just as good as an expensive camera in terms of angles/composition/visual aesthetic etc

2. Frame the picture IN CAMERA as close as possible as what you want the finished picture to look like. (as opposed to taking a picture then expecting to crop/edit in Photoshop later.)

2.5. Frame the object/subject as tightly as possible. Zoom in. FILL the frame with the object. Even if the picture is of a landscape, a deserted horizon, a tiny object in a vast emptiness...I don't care. Basically, every single space of your frame should be part of the image...as much as possible, nothing empty or useless meant to be edited/cropped out later.

3. Composition > angle. Don't confuse a fancy/crazy angle for a good composition. You can come up with an angle no one in the history of photography has ever used before and it would be pointless if the composition was lacking. Vice versa, the most amazing photographs are composed beautifully and taken with the most mundane angles. (Some people would even say that a fancy angle is just compensating for poor composition.)

3.5. Learn the basic rules of composition. Rule of thirds, rule of diagonals, triadic composition, use negative space, figure-ground confusion, framing etc.
Some useful links:
http://www.galitz.co.il/en/articles/composition.shtml
http://digital-photography-school.com/rapid-composition-how-to-compose-a-photo-quickly
http://www.digicamhelp.com/taking-photos/advanced-techniques/composing-photos/

4. Learn photography terms/tools. Not everything...just the most common and important. A good starting list:
http://www.arecintophotography.com/blog/photography-tutorials/common-photography-terms-and-usage-examples

5. Use as much natural light as possible (unless it night-time. Then use a tripod or stead your arm/body against a wall/railing/table.) When shooting indoors, use light from a window/door/etc. Indoor lights leave an un-natural yellow/blue glow and using a flash over-exposes everything and leaves harsh shadows.

6. LOOK at photographs. LOOK at good photographs (this is subjective...but a general idea of what is considered "good" is a start). LOOK at bad photographs. Compare and contrast.

7. TAKE PICTURES. I cannot stress enough how monumentally important this is. Photography really is one of those things that you learn just by doing. Specially in these days of digital cameras where you can take hundreds at little to no cost. Think of it in these terms: You have an unlimited number of amazing photographs inside you just waiting for you to take them....but you only get ONE per 100 shots you take.

20: Birthday notes aka. The Happy Post

As most of you know by now, I can be pretty two-sided about everything. I can be very upbeat and positive while at the same time be actually rather depressed and whatnot. I didn't want a post that stretched to forever, so I'm splitting up my catch-up/birthday review post into a Happy post and a Sad one.

Feel free to only read this one. Haha!

The day started out with a crummy Dr.'s visit but drastically improved when I returned home. In the mail was a wonderful package from April Nash of introducingapril.blogspot.com

It was a deceptively small mailing package. There were a mini-comic that I read 5 times over as soon as I pulled it out, a set of quote pins, stickers, 2 post-cards of my favorite illustrations by Ms Nash, a gorgeous cow-print portrait birthday card and a Koi portable watercolor set!

I especially loved the birthday card. Not only did April do an amazingly flattering drawing of me, it is from one of my favorite pictures of myself! (How does she know these things?!?! Seriously, its like she's a mind reader or something.)

Micah and I went out for a lovely lunch at one of our favorite restaurants, Mary Ann's. If anyone is ever in the high desert/Hesperia area, this place has the best fresh-baked desserts and breakfasts. For food porn and lots of pictures through-out the day, you can check out my Birthday Album on my Facebook.

The day ended on a bit of a down-note but we decided to treat the next day as an extension of my birthday. I forced Micah to take me to the cheesiest silliest girliest chick-flick out right now. I won't even say which one it was, it's too embarrassing. Afterwards, we went to my favorite little coffee-place near his house and did some experiments and sketches with my awesome Koi watercolor set.

I've been so absolutely worn out by the last few days that I've just been sleeping in since. Hopefully with this post, I'll get my momentum back and be producing comics and minis again!

18: Weddings and portraits

Yesterday was an incredibly exhausting day...and today probably will be too! My cousin is getting married (yay!) and commissioned a painting of him and his fiance yesterday. I worked at it all day to complete it by night, and decided to give it to him as a wedding present.

8x10 Ink-wash on watercolor paper

The best part, though, is that I got a pretty new dress and shoes for the occasion! Normally, I'd never wear flats but I can't walk in heels yet. After some searching, I found this adorable glittery leopard-print pair. (In the kids section. Yes, I have tiny feet.)

No other drawings from me today. My arm is so tired and  sore from yesterday that I probably should just rest it for a while.

17: Future studio space and musings on success as a working artist

Last semester, I was introduced to oil paints. I fell in love with the medium (that is, after I got past the first month of cursing it) and worked with it exclusively for a while. I plan on returning to it once I'm healed.

The biggest problem, however, was that I quickly realized the dangers of working with oile paints and the necessary spirits and chemicals. Painting in a room that is inadequately ventilated led to awful dizziness, nausea, flaring asthma and other harmful side-effects. I'd asked my dad if we could convert the un-used garage into a studio space for me. We hadn't talked about it since 4-5 months ago so I assumed he'd forgotten about it.

I woke up this morning to hear banging and crashing and hammering going on in the backyard. My dad loves to do home-improvement type stuff and he had spent most of the summer laying brick-work and a cement patio, so I thought nothing of it. Later in the afternoon, he had me come and take a look.

Our backyard

The garage

Old exercise equipment, an extra bed, and a table/shelving unit my dad built

Walls painted pink by the previous owners

I'm pretty darned excited! From what I could gather about the previous owners, this garage had been rented out as a bedroom. This means the walls are very well insulated from both heat and cold, there's pretty bright lighting, windows with curtains, multiple electrical outlets and plumbing. There's also some built in shelving and a mini-bookcase. Oh, and the walls aren't the ugly bareness of a garage. I'm not crazy about the pink, but its better than nothing. Haha!

We have a giant round table we'll be moving in so I'll have a surface to draw and sculpt, while having space to set up my easel for paintings. I am seriously so stoked about this.

I've always held to the idea that be what you want to be, you have to believe and act as if you were that person. That is, if I want to be a talented, connected, professional and productive artist....I need to believe I am and act like I am. To that end, I impose on myself a 9 to 5, 6 days a week schedule of painting/drawing/creating. I talk and introduce myself to people as if I already am a successful artist. I carry myself online, set up my shop and website as if I already am a successful artist.

Most importantly, I try to WORK as if I am already a successful artist. Unfortunately, working on my bed isn't the best way to get myself into a productive mindset. When I had my own apartment, I had a designated space meant only for working. I think eventually your mind recognizes this differentiation and snaps into work mode the moment you sit at your work-table or wear your work-hat or put on your work-music...whatever it is that takes you from goofing off to working.

I'm hoping that with this designated studio work-space, I'll be a lot more productive. I think there will be something about actually leaving my room and entering what is essentially my job that will make sticking to my (rather un-glamorous) 9 to 5, 6 day a week, working artist schedule.

16: Pages and genres

Page 2 of "Love Junkies" done. I decided to start with this mini rather than finish OMGcow comics for now because the minimal style is easier on my arm.

I've had the story for this mini sitting around in my sketchbooks for almost a year now. I knew I wanted to make it "someday"...but this fund-raising venture has really given me a kick in the butt.

I think the hardest challenge I deal with in my personal comic-making is deciding what kind of comics I make. I'm surrounded almost exclusively by boys, having never been very good at making friends with girls. As such, I sometimes forget that there are comics outside of the superhero/macho-man/adventure/fight-scene type. I start thinking that maybe the only way to succeed in this business is to make those type of comics.

Unfortunately, those comics don't really interest me. I guess I have the internet and its immense capacity for underground and web-based comics that encompass slice-of-life, diary/autobio, psychological, mystery, horror and other genres that don't really fit into the Marvel/DC world-view.

I just need to constantly remind myself that if I just make the comics that I would want to read, maybe somewhere, other people might like it too

15: Progress and lists

Look what I've been up to! I used to be able to bust out  4-5 pages a day but with arm the way it is, I have to stop every 15 minutes or so as my entire arm starts spasming. I'm hoping to see my Dr. soon. I had some slight carpal tunnel before the accident but I'm worried it may be getting worse with the bruising/impact. As it is, I'm putting out about a page a day.

This is my (hopefully soon to be finished) mini-comic "Love Junkies." As you can see from the sketches, it features a girl and a robot and more than just a few hearts. :D

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I like lists. Lists are fun to drum up and help keep me focused. When I was younger, I assumed the point of a list was to complete every single item on it. These days, I think of lists more as a guide of what I want/need to do, a way to visually manage my time and keep me from getting too lazy. The chance to strike something off also gives a much-needed boost on extra-busy days.

My to do list these days look like this:
* Scan 10/120 pages of OMGcow
* Scan 30/120 pages of OMGcow
* Scan 50/120 pages of OMGcow
* Scan 70/120 pages of OMGcow
* Scan 90/120 pages of OMGcow
* Scan 120/120 pages of OMGcow
* Draw intro comic
* Scan intro comic
* Prep OMGcow for printing
* Send OMGcow for printing
* Finish Love Junkies
* Scan and format Love Junkies
* Print, fold + staple Love Junkies
* Finish Crab & Manatee
* Scan and format Crab & Manatee
* Print, fold + staple Crab & Manatee
* Finish ultra-minis
* Print + fold ultra-minis
* Finish pin designs
* Scan + format pin designs
* Send pin designs for printing
* Finish RAWR card designs
* Scan + format RAWR card designs
* Send RAWR card designs for printing
* Finish Love/Says card designs
* Scan + format Love/Says card designs
* Send Love/Says card designs for printing
* Purchase OMG.com
* Finish comics for 1st year
* Start on 2nd year sketches
* Decide on Merch for LBComicCon
* Order table supplies for LBComicCon
* Make background for LBComicCon
* Make promo card/flyers/free minis
* Go to LBComicCon
* Find Cons for next year
*Apply to Cons for next year


Phew. I didn't realize how much there was to do until I typed it all up.

14: Numbers...

I just realized that I'd been numbering my posts. I'm not exactly sure why so I was originally not going to number this one...but it felt weird. I guess there's a certain comfort in routine.

Today had some awful parts but some great parts. A friend of mine, Dao, is moving to Chicago. She's lived in Long Beach for a few years and in that time, has amassed a ton of art supplies. When she said she had a few things to give away, I was expecting a sketchbook or two. Instead I got probably $200 worth of art supplies (if not more!)

I've been wanting a portable easel for quite some time now so that came a a wonderful surprise. There's also gigantic sketch pads, bristol pads, vellum pads, canvas paper, watercolor pads and pallete pads of all sizes.

I think what I loved best is that there were some old drawings/paintings by Dao left in some of the sketchbooks. She is someone I admire and look up to as a role model of sorts...so having pieces of her work really means a lot to me. Although she'll probably feel weird since they're very old pieces from, as she says, her "past life" when she used to draw. (She does sculpture almost exclusively now.)

In one of the old sketchbooks, my favorite of the lot, there is some faded writing in pencil on the inside cover. It was a poem by Robert Desnos in french. I was able to translate it literally (thank you, 2 years of French class!) but wasn't sure if I got it right. I found an English translation but it seems almost like an entirely different poem. I don't like it anywhere near as much. The translated version is longer, more complex.

I dunno, for me, the literal translation of the original was simple but had an honesty that really spoke to me. I decided to write it out since the inscription on the sketchbook was already faded and hard to make out. I ended up doing a little ink drawing on the page inspired by the poem. It really is a beautiful piece (the poem...not so much my drawing. LOL)

Le Dernier Poéme

J’ai rêvé tellement fort de toi,
J’ai tellement marché, tellement parlé,
Tellement aimé ton ombre,
Qu’il ne me reste plus rien de toi.

Il me reste d’être l’ombre parmi les ombres
D’être cent fois plus ombre que l’ombre
D’être l’ombre qui viendra et reviendra dans ta vie ensoleillée

(my literal translation)

The Last Poem

I dreamed so much about you,
I so much walked, so much spoke,
So much loved your shade,
That I have nothing more of you.

I have to be shade among shades
To be hundred times more shade than shade
To be the shade which will come and return in your sunny life

The closest English translation I could find was:

I Have Dreamed of You So Much

I have dreamed of you so much that you are no longer real.
Is there still time for me to reach your breathing body, to kiss your mouth and make
your dear voice come alive again?

I have dreamed of you so much that my arms, grown used to being crossed on my
chest as I hugged your shadow, would perhaps not bend to the shape of your body.
For faced with the real form of what has haunted me and governed me for so many
days and years, I would surely become a shadow.

O scales of feeling.

I have dreamed of you so much that surely there is no more time for me to wake up.
I sleep on my feet prey to all the forms of life and love, and you, the only one who
counts for me today, I can no more touch your face and lips than touch the lips and
face of some passerby.

I have dreamed of you so much, have walked so much, talked so much, slept so much
with your phantom, that perhaps the only thing left for me is to become a phantom
among phantoms, a shadow a hundred times more shadow than the shadow the
moves and goes on moving, brightly, over the sundial of your life.

9: Some thoughts...

So, I'm still hurting but its mostly in the leg. My arm still hurts when I stretch it out straight all the way but I've got a bit of a grip now! Enough to hold a pencil and write/draw lightly. I'm pretty happy about that. I'm going to try drawing with a brush today because I can make dark lines without applying any pressure that way.

I have to call up the Dr. too to see about those x-rays. I'm hoping they come out normal....she said something about a high risk for blood clots, possible pinched nerves and hairline fractures. *gulp*

The hardest thing right now is stopping myself from picking at the scabs on my contusions. They just sit there....itching for me to poke and peel them. That really just makes it worse. LOL I'm hoping they don't scar.

I am a little bummed today. Habib (my Gallery and Design teacher from last Semester who runs his own art gallery) keeps sending me the schedule for this month's 30 days of one-night art shows. I had planned on going to see all 30 of them since the gallery is so close to where I live. From pictures I'm seeing, they look so great. I hate that this summer is pretty much all fucked up.

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Whenever I get sad, I like to dream up what my perfect studio-space would be like. I like to go as wild and crazy because....hey...dreams don't cost a thing!

I'd rent one of those huge abandoned and converted warehouses in the industrial downtown Los Angeles areas. There are tons of them being used as collective artist studios. I rent/buy one and have it set up inside so there would be a bunch of loft-style studios with an open central lobby. This lobby I'd use as an Art Gallery space to show local independent artists who would normally not be given the time of day by bigger Galleries.

I'd rent out the other studio-spaces (or share the rent) to other artists....maybe even some of my friends! Each space would have a large open area with huge windows, cement floors and brick walls so we can make a mess without having to worry about it. Then there would be a ladder/stairs leading to an upper loft-style area which would be carpeted or covered in rugs. This could be a sleeping area for those who wanted to live where they worked or just a storage space.

As far as kitchens and plumbing, preferably each space would have their own but the ones I've seen typically have a shared kitchen and bathroom. Maybe its the only way to do it in this type of building? I really wouldn't mind, though. I'd have a mini-fridge in my loft for my stuff and just cook it in the kitchen.

I just think it would be so cool to live around other working artists, to be able to talk and share ideas, hang out around people who are doing and creating. Hmmm...I wonder if Micah would be up for living like this?

Food Sketches 02

I didn't bring my scanner with me so I'm using a webcam. I can't decide between getting a portable watercolor set, watercolor pens, or watercolor pencils and a brush pen with a water reservoir. I want something unobtrusive I can pull out while at a restaurant or during a meal, but will give me a range of colors and hues. Watercolor pens seem the most convenient option but I don't want to be limited by only two or three colors. The pigments doesn't blend well so I can't get away with blending primaries to make more colors.

Semester in review

Sping semester ended last month, along with my first painting class. It was a rough, grueling yet exhilarating 18 weeks When the class began, I had absolutely no experience with oil paint and the last time I had handled a brush was in 3rd grade, painting macaroni noodles with kids' acrylic. I was terrified and massively jealous of the talents of my fellow students, many of whom were taking the Beginning Painting class simply to fulfill their course requirements.

18x24

Oil on canvas

The rewards of my efforts were very little during those first months. We made up color charts and gradients, still lives that did nothing but show me how poor my perspective and proportions were.

18x24

Oil on canvas

I stuck with it and with the Abstract assignment, something happened. I stopped caring so much about pleasing my professor, about getting the techniques just right. I stopped expecting a rigid recipe for flesh tones and started experimenting. Most importantly, I stopped looking at the work of my classmates and comparing and copying them. I allowed myself to experiment, I chose not to come to class until Critique day to avoid disparaging comments from others. I abandoned all expectations and rules, allowing myself to simply experiment with how the paint felt and looked and smelled. How it sat on the canvas and dripped or pooled, what marks I could make with sandpaper or a toothbrush or a leaf.

36x42

Oil, latex paint, turpentine on canvas

Once I had tackled the technical aspect of painting, I felt my conceptual ideas itching to come free. Something my professor said stuck with me. "Art is what happens after everyone leaves the studio." (I may be wrong, I have a habit of forgetting details.)  Prior to this, I had stayed within "safe" "acceptable" subjects. My parents had always held that nudes were not art and the measure of an artists' success is seeing one's work hung in a coffee shop with a large price tag.

8x10

Oil on canvas

I took the plunge. I locked myself away in the garage and began painting. Many of my classmates wouldn't look at my work, some said I was doing it for the attention. I didn't care. The feeling of making work I wanted to make was exhilarating. So this is what art is all about.

18x24

Oil on canvas

Two 15x30

Oil on canvas

I have no idea where my art is going from here. All I know is that I want to keep working, keep trying, keep improving. Today, I cleaned out my garage and found the painting I did on that first day of class. It is absolutely horrendous and I still remember that sinking feeling of fear and dread. I cannot paint, I thought. I can never learn to paint. Everyone else in class has taken art classes before. I can never paint like them.

8x10

Oil on panel

Its true. I'm no Picasso but that's ok. I think I'm learning to paint like me.